Tri-Cities Baker's Market

People always ask me what I do to get my body rockin' hard and ready for summer. Okay, they really don't ask me that. But, if they did, I would tell them three things:

Run.

Lift weights.

Eat sweets.

It's as easy as that. Do those three things, and I guarantee you'll be rocking that gold Snookie bikini on Kits Beach in no time (results not actually guaranteed. Duh). For the running, I'd recommend C25K. For the lifting, I'd recommend Cross Fit. For the sweets, I'd recommend the Tri-Cities Baker's Market.

If you've never been to a baker's market, you're truly missing out on one of those rare opportunities to stuff your face full of a variety of from-scratch treats that are baked with nothing but love (and a bit of sugar). The one that is popping up in Coquitlam is a real gem - it is chock-a-block full of amazing bakers who only want to make your tummy happy. My posse and I got the opportunity to visit the first market of the year on Saturday. You've got to see what we smuggled out:

Churro Cupcakes

Americans, you must reveal your secrets. This weekend is what you call "Memorial Day". We do not have anything like this in Canada - of course, you don't have Victoria Day nor Family Day, but that's another blog post all together. Now, Memorial Day confuses the heck out of me. From my research (which consists of TV commericals and Target flyers), this weekend is sort of a bastardization of July 4th and Thanksgiving. There's fireworks involved, and you basically eat yourself into a coma. But, instead of turkey, you consume two food groups: BBQ and deep fried things.

Sorry about these sweeping generalizations, America, but just roll with it. And be honest. You do eat a lot of BBQ. And, Jesus H Christ, do you ever like to deep fry things. I can't partake in a lot of your mystical grilled food - the majority of that is meat and/or things stacked upon meat. Deep frying things, I have to admit, have never been chummy with me either. To be frank, I'm seriously scared of the stuff. Oil hot enough to burn your face off? No thanks. I the type of baker who spills everywhere - do you think I'm really stupid enough to fool around with potential disfigurement?

Rapturetastic Twix Cookies

I have a bit of a bone to pick with you, crazy religious guy. Now, I'm not very spiritual myself - if I had to put my horse into the proverbial ring, it would probably be for this guy. What's not to love about a large, happy fat man who's totally chill with everyone? I can get behind an entity who's pretty much like Hurley from Lost.

Journey Around the World (of Cake): Victorian Sandwich Cakes

I always thought that the term "a spot of tea" was reserved for really contrived conversations in fake Cockney accents. Boy was I wrong. Not only to British subjects (that includes you, Canada) enjoy tea, but they seem to have the ability to suck a spot of it down at any time. To be honest, I don't understand the big attraction to the stuff. To me, it's just warm, slightly flavoured water. Long Island Ice tea is pretty good, but I don't think that's the same thing. At all.

Prince William's Chocolate Biscuit Cupcakes

It's been a week. So, how do you feel, Will? Do you remember the magical moment, or was it all a blur? Let me guess - in retrospect, you would have traded it all for a small reception in a garden somewhere. Or Vegas. But I guess that's not really an option for you, is it? Nope. People have been planning your fairy tale wedding since you were born because, lets face it, you are Prince Charming.



So, the wedding was beautiful. You got to ride in a spiffy car. Your grandmother and grandfather stayed awake for the whole thing (I think). And, best of all, your brother didn't make a complete ass out of himself. But, a week later, the suit's packed away, the flowers are long gone, and that toaster from Fergie has been returned to the store. Which begs the question: Now what?

Post-Election Vegan Stuffed Cookies

A note to our American friends: I'm sorry if, by the end of this, you are very confused. Your neighbour to the north has just been through a really tiring election and we're still trying to work through all our feelings. If you need help understanding, you can look here. Or, better yet, here. Though there is a lot of writing below (most of it pretty bitter), please remember that there is a supremely tasty vegan recipe at the bottom that involves chocolate chip cookies, homemade oreos, and homemade oreos stuffed inside of chocolate chip cookies. If you don't want to get involved in Canadian politics, scroll right down to the end.